Dark and Twisty Char

If you have been reading this blog for very long you know that during the summer I am a YMCA Day Camp counselor and I that I loooove my job. Those little kids make my day, even when they pee in squirt guns. They have given me so many stories, so many happy memories, and so many big hugs. My fellow counselors are my soul mates, we bond over margaritas and chimichangas and share our stories of our tiny little minions. However, working with children has it's sad moments. There are the kids who never have a full lunch box, or only have one when they stay with mom but not with dad. Or there are kids who can't afford a new swimsuit or the little kindergarten girl who sits by herself in the locker room when the other girls are comparing their new Cinderella panties.  There are the children that are socially awkward or get caught picking their nose a lot but generally these problems are ones we as counselors can fix. We bring extra food in our lunch boxes or maybe one day bring a pair of pint size swim trunks, we ban bullying and help kids to look beyond appearances. We can fix those. But last summer we found a problem we couldn't fix. This should have been a clue but we didn't get it. We should have gotten it. We found out the last monday of the summer, Digger and I figured it all out and wrote it all down. We made the right calls and called her mother and talked to the cops. It over 6 months ago but sometimes it comes back to me, a TV show or movie or misplaced comment can spark it. I still have bad dreams about it. People always tell us that we should be proud that we figured it out but all I can think of is if only we had figured it out sooner and that it ruined a family. It has changed something inside of me permanently, and yes I am quite aware of how melodramatic that sounds. People who I have thought would understand haven't, Digger is the only one that has gotten it and feels like I do. I've never blogged about it though I've often wanted to because honestly I'm not sure where in the courts it is and if I'm allowed to. But today I was particularly depressed about it and blogging it out seemed like a good solution and I feel I was vague enough. I'm sorry to bring down the day, rosy Char will return tomorrow.