How Not to Flirt 101

Hold your right hand out in front of you, palm down. Twist it up and down at your wrist, kind of like a teeter toter. When the left side of your hand goes up, the right side should go down and vice versa. This is the universal symbol for "eh". It will henceforth be called the "eh". Keep this in mind. 

Hermione and I ran to Lance's tonight, I needed some kleenex for my overactive allergies and some milk. Lance's is prone to googly-eyed stock boys. As we were walking to dairy two such stock boys strolled past, obviously giving us the once over. "Ew" we said. 

Soon we were in the check-out line, stuck behind a father and his kids who were taking a massive amount of time to check out. Hermione looks over and sees the two boys again. "Check this out" she says. They're staring at us from across the store and then looking at the bag boy for our lane telling him to check us out and get our numbers. "I feel like I'm at the zoo, and I'm the one in a cage!" I say. 

The bag boy looks at us, not realizing Hermione is watching him, and ya know what he did? He "ehed" us. What? We don't get "ehed". Maybe we weren't at our best, but we are not 5s! We are 10s! 

Hermione realizes that there's another guy over with them now. It's Dustin, we know him! He laughs at the other boys and walks over to us. 

"Hey guys" he says. "Those boys think you are hot." 

"Yeah we got that" We say, laughing. 

Then Hermione does the best thing I've ever seen her do ever in our 13 year friendship. She looks at Dustin (who is now standing right next to our bag boy), smiles and points at said bag boy, and says, "Yeah and then we saw this loser do this (eh hand motion)" 

Bag boy turns red and tried to recover, "They were uh trying to uh get me to get my number, I mean your numbers, get me to get your numbers." 

"Mmmhmm" We say and walk away chatting with Dustin. 

Sometimes you just have glorious moments, and this was one of Hermione's. If you see her congratulate her. 

And boys, we can see you, we are not blind. We are also not zebras. And do not "eh" us.