Not Too Important, It's Only What I Live By...

So I came up with so many blog ideas this weekend and they've just been sitting there forming and growing and then tonight the VP brings another topic to my mind, one I've thought about quite often in the far past and so here I am, writing a blog that is completely unprepared. That is so Char. Anyway. I'm hesitant to even write this down because it's truly what I live my life by and so I want to say it just right, but in all my years of trying to explain it I'm not sure I've ever been able to really make people understand it the same way I understand it. So here it is. Sometime in high school, amidst cheerleading and prom dresses and girl drama, life kind of clicked into place for me. One day things just made sense. My friends and I, up to this point, were always complaining about boys (particularly finding one) and friend drama and grades and the normal high school stuff and I always had trouble identifying why it was all so important and what it all meant. And somewhere in there I found my own way of dealing with it all. For me, I just have to trust that everything will work out. And really, even though I don't consciously do it, it's me putting everything in the hands of God and trusting that He will get me where I need to go. Everything happens for a reason, everything you do is done to get you where you need to be- bad things and good. But it's not like God is controlling it, or not in my mind it's not, and to me it's not even like he's gently steering things, he's just watching. Every move that I make was known a long time ago, and that is how I know that things will always work out. My story is centuries old, and even though I don't know how it will end I know it ends happily. It's not at all like God is making my decisions for me which is what some people think when they think of fate. The thing is, my decisions are completely my own, I have every control, I can pick A and then B and then at the last moment I can pick D, the only difference is that God knew a long time ago that I would go through that exact list and that I would ultimately pick D. It's kind of like in His mind everything happened at the beginning, absolutely everything, and now we are playing out what he already knew was going to happen. And I'm having the same trouble explaining it, as always. It just makes so much sense in my mind and I just so badly want people to understand. But anyway, every time I am faced with a big decision I go ahead and make it and try not to stress about it because I know that that was the decision I was suppose to make, even if it turns out horribly it will eventually lead me to where I need to be. When bad things happen to me I do my best to sit back and let them  happen and wait them out because I just know that it will work out. Maybe it's this undying optimism that earned me my Blog's subtitle, but I'm not sure this is optimism so much as it is trust and possibly even a survival technique. I honestly don't know how people survive if they aren't able to take all of their fears and worries and put them in God's hands, I don't think I could ever handle them if I kept them completely inside me, all of my problems and worries and hopes and dreams.  And I guess not a lot of awful things have happened to me compared to some people, so maybe I don't have a right to preach. But life has not always been easy for me at all, I've seen a lot of death and stress and big decisions and due to my friends dealt with a lot of issues that were way beyond my years, and this was my survival. This got me through it all and it kept me sane and it kept me OK. It's so hard to explain but in my head it's just so obvious and so clear and I wish I could help you understand because I feel like it could maybe help people.