The East Diaries
My freshman and sophomore year (and every year preceding) my dorm was all female. It's the closest thing to a sorority on campus. Everyone knows everyone, and even if you don't know each other you always have something to talk about, whether it's falling ceiling tiles or mice. This year, my junior year, MC decided to let the males in. We had a surge in admissions and Lord knows a private university does not say no to some extra tuition money. This led to a housing crunch and my dorm was the sacrificial lamb. Now one wing of 3rd floor contains boys. Freshman boys. As I live well away from the drama on 2nd floor opposite wing I decided that I could cohabit peacefully with the little buggers as long as they stayed on their floor on their side. Well no such luck. I'm at the end of my rope and about this close to rattling off an email to our hall director and now I will share some examples, and I think that you will understand and commiserate with me by the end. Example A. I think it was Wednesday of last week. The roomie and I were chatting in our room with the door open when three boys stopped and came in to talk. "Hey are you the sprinkler girl?!" They asked me. "What is a sprinkler girl?" "Some chick ran through the sprinklers during orientation." "Obviously I am not the sprinkler girl" "You look just like her." "Yeah I'm still not her." Then they asked my roomie if she was a soccer player and where she was from. When she told them one of the boys responded, "Oh I went to school there for awhile, I also got put in jail there, we have things in common, we'll talk." After that they left. Example B. Friday night, a bit past midnight, myself and two of my girlfriends (we all live on the same floor) were returning from our night out. As we turned onto our wing we spotted a shirtless freshman boy on the opposite wing hanging half in a door. He spotted us and made a bee line in our direction so we quickly turned onto our wing and made for our rooms. Well my door came first so he skipped me and followed my friends. But they ignored him so he turned around and came back my way. As I was fumbling to get my key in the door he caught up with me, leaned his shoulder against my door frame in what I can only assume was supposed to be a seductive manner and asked me what I was doing tonight. Well as fury overtook my reactions I clumsily yet crankily spat out "Yeah, I'm waiting for my boyfriend to get here, so no thank you." and shut the door in his face rather hard. Then I stood there listening to him writing on my dry erase board. He was very articulate in his wording, I am sure he poured over his immense vocabulary searching for the words to convey his anger before finally settling on the always classy "fuck you". Now since this is a dry erase board, I really didn't care what he wrote, what did make me mad however is that he stole my marker. Example C. The very next night possibly the same guy walked past Hermione's door, noticed it was cracked open a few inches and so of course he decided to open it. He walked right in while she was getting ready to go out, he talked for about 30 seconds, felt her loft to see if it was sturdy, took a kleenex, and left. Example D. My roomie leaves to go take a shower. The BF and were watching the VMAs when she walked back in and hastily said "they're coming in" closely followed by two guys. She said it in a very weird way and I didn't understand. They talked to her for a moment or two and she mostly ignored them before they left and she shut the door behind them proclaiming that she didn't even know them, they had been outside the bathroom door and followed her to our room. Thank goodness she changed in the shower and wasn't half naked!
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